


Kung Fu Panda (and a few ocs) as vines part 2

by Icouldhavedroppedmycroissant



Category: Kung Fu Panda (Movies)
Genre: I added a few more OCs to this, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-01 06:43:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18330701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icouldhavedroppedmycroissant/pseuds/Icouldhavedroppedmycroissant
Summary: Read the title





	Kung Fu Panda (and a few ocs) as vines part 2

Shifu: If one of y'all says some silly ass name...

Po: Monkeypoo!

Shifu: Son of a (breaks staff in half) BITCH.

\---

Tigress: Alright! Vacation! Where do you guys want to go?

Po: The Bahamas!

Tigress: Hm, I don't know about that...

Sen: Let's go to hell.

Tigress: No.

\---

(Monkey gets some vegetable oil from the pantry and spreads it onto the floor)

Monkey: Crane! Mantis! Come run in here and get y'all's juice!

Crane: AA- (slide on the oil and runs into the oven, shattering it)

Monkey: SHIT-

\---

(Leopard and Sen are washing dishes, and Leopard accidentally drops a glass and it breaks)

Sen: I'm telling!

(Leopard and Sen race to find Shifu first, and Leopard throws a mattress at Sen)

Sen: LEOPARD BROKE THE GLA- (get hit by a mattress)

\---

Viper: Sabra gives you all your daily nutrients, like 0 grams of trans fat, and OH MY GOD CHOLESTEROL!

\---

Random guy: I brought you frankincense.

The pandas: Thank you.

Shen: And I brought you mur.

The pandas: Thank you.

Shen: Mur-der!

The pandas: (gasp) Shen! No!

\---

Mantis: You need to light a black salt candle at exactly 12:00 pm and maybe the spirit will go away.

Leopard: (bangs two pots together) GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU LIFTY MOTHERFUCKER!

\---

Tigress: What are your talents?

Monkey: (flips a water bottle and it lands perfectly)

The rest of the Furious Five: (visibly shaken)

\---

Po: It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!

Po: It's watermelon... INSIDE a watermelon!

\---

Po: (is just walking down the street, and looks to the right of him)

Akuma Clan: (all in a group doing the Naruto run)

\---

Mantis: (appears on Crane's shoulder)

Crane: (wheezing)

Mantis: SHAWTY I DON'T. MIND.

Monkey: (laughing)

\---

Viper: Why are you wearing that sweater? It's summer.

Crane: It's always sweater weather when you have body image issues!

Viper: What?

Crane: nOTHinG.

\---

Po: What the hell are you doing?

Mei Mei: I am doing my eyebrows.

Po: That's a big ass mirror!

Mei Mei: I have big ass eyebrows.

\---

Sen: Did you ever play that game when your siblings are sunburnt and you put some spoons in the freezer and take them out and hit them with it so that it rips their skin off?

Viper: What the fuck.

\---

Monkey: I put a banana peel on the ground and I'm going to see if it's really slippery like it is in the cartoons.

Monkey: Okay, so- (slips on banana peel and hit the ground) uAAAAAA-

\--- 

Mantis: (lies down on Monkey)

Monkey: Dude, what the fuck?

Mantis: No homo?

Monkey: ...alright. (They high five)

\---

Tai Lung: (to Po) If you put a fucking hand on me I will fucking rip your face off, bitch.

Tigress: What did he do to you?

Tai Lung: CAUSE HE FUCKING PUSHED ME-

\---

Leopard: Hey, does anyone know where the plunger is?

(sees that Tai Lung is in the Jade Palace)

Leopard: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!

Tai Lung: I LIVE HERE!

Leopard: NO YOU DON'T!

Tai Lung: YES I DO-

Leopard: NO THE HELL YOU DON'T-

\---

Mr Ping: Two shots of vodka... (pours way more than two shots into a glass)

\---

Shifu: No off-topic questions.

Shifu: Because I don't want to.

Shifu: No, n-no.

Shifu: Permission denied.

Shifu: That's an off-topic question, next.

Shifu: You have been stopped.

\---

Akuma: YOU READY TO FUCKING DIE?!

Leopard: I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me!

\---

Tigress: (while punching an Elmo doll repeatedly) You ain't a damn bitch Elmo! Fuck you!

\---

Shifu: Po, can you read number 23 for the class?

Po: No I cannot.

Po: What up, I'm Po, I'm 19, and I never fucking learned how to read.

\---

(A crocodile bandit comes across a seemingly dead Mantis)

Mantis: (bolts upright)

(the beginning notes of Run Away With Me by Carly Rae Jepson play as the crocodile bandit runs away)

\---

Akuma: Please lady, let me just have one good day?

Shinigami: Oh my gosh, you again? Give it a rest, buddy!

\---

Viper: Okay, who would you rather kill-

Sen: Leopard.

Viper: I wasn't finished-

Sen: I don't need to hear the rest.

Leopard: ...okay, I'm feeling a little unsafe.

\---

Shifu: Okay, who do want to pick to read the next chapter?

Crane: (looks at Mantis)

Mantis: (mouths the words 'not me')

Crane: I pick Mantis.

Mantis: I fucking hate you.

\---

Po: How much do you want to bet I can eat all these fudge stripes in one sitting?

Viper: Po no!

Po: (stuffing them in his mouth) One...

Viper: Po...

Po: Three...

\---

Tigress: Have you been drinking?

Mantis: I don't drink anymore, so don't start with that.

Tigress: (pulls out a water bottle) THEN WHAT WAS THIS DOING UNDER YOUR BED?!

Mantis: WE NEED WATER TO LIVE!

Tigress: NOT IN MY DAMN HOUSE!

\---

Tai Lung: Can we stop at McDonalds?

Shifu: No, we have food at home.

Tai Lung: (wiping a tear from his eye) I hate this fucking family.

\---

Po: I'm about to sing a song.

Shen: (pushes him down really fast) Move! Get out of the way!

\---

That's all for now. I promise to actually write the fic with my ocs in it, but you have this for now.


End file.
